How I Went From Virgin to 1 New Girl a Week
This is a guest post by Jon Anthony the author of Masculine Development.
Gentlemen, this is my first guest post on this blog. I’m glad to be here.
Today, I’m going to be talking about how I went from having crippling social anxiety, severe self-hatred issues, and a whole plethora of other problems, to being jacked, confident, outgoing, and a total player.
But first, I want to give a little bit of background about myself; I want you to know where I’m coming from and how I got to where I am now.
Let’s get to it.
I’m not going to lie, I had a pretty fucked up childhood. All kinds of abuse led me to being completely anti-social and depressed. From the ages of 8-17 my life literally consisted of going to school, not paying attention, getting home, eating a couple of hot pockets, and playing MMORPG’s until I passed out.
Something had to change.
When I was around the age of 17 I started to realize that if I didn’t make a change RIGHT NOW, then nothing was going to happen.
So I did what most men did – I googled “How to Get Girls,” on the internet. And the results I found were astonishing.
“Bro you have to be an asshole, girls like that.” “Bro, you need to be a douchebag.” “Dude, do the exact opposite of what you’re doing.”
I was shocked and appalled. Do what? I was supposed to…TEASE women? Wasn’t that “mean”?
Little did I know it, but I was going through the Hero’s Journey of Modern Men that every white knight goes through.
My eyes had been completely shut up to this point; and in a sudden burst of neomasculine epiphany, they were opened.
When I started learning more and more about how to get girls, I realized that you need to work out (a belief that was later disproven, but I digress).
So, I bought a membership to my local commercial gym, and started hitting it hard. I didn’t really know which workout routine to do, so I fucked around doing my own crappy version of a bro-split for nearly half a year before actually getting it right.
This was the first step towards my self development: going to the gym.
Most guys, upon entering the realm of self-development, start with the gym, for various reasons. Most often, it’s to get girls.
Over time, however, their interests shift, and they start to work out for their own sake, not for others.
Regardless, I hadn’t hit that phase yet—I was literally a sophomore in college when I lost my virginity. I was 20 years old when I lost my virginity.
“What the fuck, Jon? Isn’t that a little late?”
Yeah, it is. It’s very fucking late. But better late than never.
Here’s four lessons that I learned along the way, that I believe will MASSIVELY help you get girls.
1. Fucking approach girls.
This sounds like the most simple, obvious thing in the world, but literally 99% of guys don’t do it.
Most guys’ idea of approaching a lot of girls is like one a day, maybe two.
If you want to get good with women as fast as possible, you need to approach AT LEAST 30 a day.
Yeah, that’s right. And compared to master pickup artists, that isn’t shit.
When you’re first starting off, your game is going to suck, so you need to aim for environments that have two characteristics; high volume and anonymity.
You need high volume, so that you have a whole bunch of girls to approach. The biggest obstacle to your success as a newbie will be getting in your head, so the less time that you have from approach to approach the better.
This can only be accomplished in a high volume environment.
The second characteristic that you want to have in an environment is anonymity. Like I said, when you’re a newbie your game is going to suck…hard. So you don’t want people remembering you from the last time, which they will if it’s a small college campus, tiny town, or local dive bar.
So, in other words, here are some types of environments that are super ideal for picking up girls:
- Large shopping malls
- Outdoor parks with a lot of people (think Central Park)
- Nightclubs (preferably in cities)
- Strip malls
If you live in a small town, then consider either moving or driving to a nearby town to learn game there.
You do not want to get the reputation as “that pickup guy,” when you first start off…trust me. I had this reputation for a while, because I was a dumbass and didn’t realize that you need anonymity and high volume when you’re first starting off.
Okay—so you found where to game. What now?
Now depending on if it’s daygame or nightgame, you’re going to have to change your approach. If it’s during the day, be a bit more laid back. If it’s during the night be more assertive.
But don’t even bother yourself with the nuances of game, just yet. Right now you just need to TAKE ACTION, and you’ll learn more from taking action than you will from reading anything online.
Aim to approach AT LEAST 5 girls a day, preferably more. Remember: the more girls you approach, the more feedback you’ll get, and the better you’ll be able to calibrate your game based off of your results or lack of.
2. Baby Step Yourself
One of the biggest problems when you’re a newbie learning game is overcoming approach anxiety.
There’s generally two approaches to this: chemical enhancement and progressive desensitization.
Most men choose the first; they choose to pound down shots until they aren’t nervous anymore. The problem with this is that you don’t want to be spending $50 a night on alcohol, or have to deal with the nasty side effects.
It’s a great tool to use, but I recommend combining it with another tool known as baby-stepping.
This is basically a term that is the same as “progressive desensitization,” or slowly working your way up to a certain action.
For example, say you’re terrified of talking to that hot girl in the corner. She’s a gorgeous 10 with a perfect body, and you’re trembling.
That’s fine – instead, just talk to the ugly girl right next to you. Loosen up a bit, just shoot the shit with her. Eventually, find a girl who’s a bit hotter; maybe start talking to her, or some male friends nearby.
Slowly, but surely, you will work your way up to having the balls to talk to the hot girl. This is a hell of a lot easier than just jumping straight into gaming her.
If you’re absolutely terrified of going out to even a bar, then baby-stepping will work for you, as well.
Terrified of going to the bar? That’s fine, just go to get a drink—don’t go to do game. Then, once you get there, just chill for a bit.
Relax, watch the game…get used to being in a bar-like environment. THEN you’ll feel a lot better when you want to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl near you.
Do not underestimate the power of baby stepping; it’s one of the best ways to get closer to your goals, whether it be game, working out, or making money.
Slowly expose yourself to things that make you a little bit nervous, but not overwhelmingly nervous, and before you know it, you’ll be able to do things you never thought were possible.
“Meditate? What are you talking about, Jon?” I can hear you ask.
Yup. Meditation has improved my game by leaps and bounds. Why? Well, it’s simple.
When you meditate you train your brain to focus on the present moment.
What this translates to, in game, is that you aren’t worried about what she’s thinking (focusing on the future) or worried about what a girl said or did (focusing on the past).
You’re just laser focused on what’s right in front of you: this gorgeous girl you’re talking to.
And girls will notice, too—ever hear them go nuts over some guy, and call him “intense?” I know I have.
“Oh my god…he’s so intense.” “Wow…he has such intense eye contact.”
You can easily develop this level of intensity by meditating frequently. I personally aim to meditate 40 minutes a day, although I haven’t been lately due to various reasons.
I also recommend that you use an audio track like Life Flow or Holosync. These are basically a combination of binaural, monaural, and isochronic tones that train your brain to enter into a certain frequency WAY faster than you could do with normal meditation.
Be VERY careful though. Meditation brings up repressed emotions, and because Life Flow amplifies the effects of meditation by around 10 fold, sometimes people can literally have a mental breakdown and start crying or something because they have so many pent up emotions they weren’t even aware of.
I recommend starting off by meditating just 5 minutes a day. Set a timer or use a stopwatch, and slowly work your way up to 20 minutes a day (without Life Flow).
Then, once you’re ready, use it for maybe 20 minutes at first. DO NOT skip levels (there’s 10 levels of it). Start at level 10, and every month after that go down a level.
I’ve tried skipping ahead, and it’s a terrible idea; if you haven’t trained your brain to be in a “Buddhist Monk Frequency,” like delta waves, there will be a huge backlash and you’ll have a panic attack (I tried skipping to level 1, this is what happened).
If you use Life Flow, and meditation in general, the right way, your game will EXPLODE.
And not just your game; every aspect of your life will explode, because you can now focus for hours on end without fear or anxiety about the future, and without depression or sadness about the past.
Meditation works. Do it.
4. Keep a Journal
This is perhaps one of the most underrated tips in existence. Keeping a pickup journal is literally one of the most important habits that a man could ever have if he wants to get good at game.
I have had a pickup journal for literally two years now. Every single approach, every single pickup, and every single rejection that I get, I right it all down.
“Why would you do that, Jon?”
I’ll tell you why—because after a while, you start to notice common patterns. You start to see where you go wrong, and you learn from your past failures and successes.
For example, one night (when I was first getting started), I was working on the concept of pushing and pulling.
Pushing is when you give a little tease to a girl, pulling is when you give a complement. Unfortunately, I hadn’t mastered it yet, and I pushed a girl way too hard. She got mad and threw a drink in my face.
Well, fuck. So that night, I wrote it down—and because I wrote it down, I realized that this is a common pattern for me. I tease too hard.
Okay, so the next night I went out, specifically with this in mind, and ended up teasing a girl JUST RIGHT. She was this 5’3″ 18 year old blonde girl with a thin waist and a FAT ass.
I pushed and pulled her just right; I’d complement her, bring her in, and then tease her just a little bit, making her want to chase me even more.
We ended up fucking in the bathroom.
This is the power of keeping a journal. Your growth in game will increase exponentially once you’re aware of all of the little habits you have and sticking points you have.
In summary, learning game as a newbie will be one of the most difficult things that you ever do…but it will also be one of the best things that you ever do.
Game has applications to every area of your life. You can use it to better network with people, you can use it to game YOURSELF and amp your mood, you can use it in a relationship (frame control/being a man on your purpose), and you can use it to form male friendships that will last a lifetime.
But, you have to get out there and take action. Game isn’t learnt from watching videos, reading articles, and buying programs.
Yes, these things help TREMENDOUSLY, IF you’re going out. If you’re not, it’s just mental masturbation.
So go out for the next week, and then come back and read this article again. I promise you that every word will take on an entirely different meaning.
But you have to take action.
Go out there and game.